If I Die Young
by xoxbreyoxo
Summary: A werewolf bite has Caroline facing the end. Song inspired. Warning: Character Death
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **I drive a lot, almost 200 miles a weekend just for work plus whatever I do during the work/school week at home. A lot of it is highway driving so I listen to _**a lot **_of music. One of my favorites is 'If I Die Young' by the Band Perry, but specifically the version from the episode of Glee after Cory Monteith died. It was sung by Naya Rivera, who's voice gives me chills and goosebumps no matter what she's singing. But this song, and the episode, hit me even harder. So, this ficlet was dreamed up the last couple times I've heard that song in the car and I wanted to get it down on paper. I hope you like it, I know it's more angsty than most of what I write.

**Disclaimer:** The lyrics aren't mine, the characters aren't either. Anything recognizable in my stories belongs to the brilliant minds that created them, I'm just using them for inspiration.

**If I die young bury me in satin**

**Lay me down on a bed of roses**

**Sink me in the river at dawn**

**Send me away with the words of a love song**

She'd laugh at herself if the pain wasn't burning through her body. She'd already died once, you'd think she would have thought about these things. What she would want to happen if it happened again; how she would want to be remembered but the ones she left behind. And she had, she supposes, the small things at least.

She didn't want to be buried after all she had seen happen in the years since she turned, all the magic and curses. She wanted to be at rest. But she had chosen a dress years before, a simple blue satin sheath, similar in color to the dress from the Mikaelson ball. She knew that she wanted her friends to celebrate her life not mourn her death, they had all cried enough. She wanted them to play music, laugh and sing, and share memories and stories from their time together.

**Lord make me a rainbow**

**I'll shine down on my mother**

**She'll know I'm safe with you when**

**She stands under my colours, oh and**

She was glad that she could count on her friends to take care of her mother. She didn't want to leave her, but if she had to she was glad that the people she loved and who loved her would be there to do what she couldn't anymore. Her safety was the most important thing to the young vampire, and it had been for as long as she could remember. Years ago she had asked him if he would make sure that her mother was safe, and that he would make sure her mother knew that _she_ was okay. She wasn't hurting, she wasn't scared; she was safe and watching over all the ones she loved and missed.

**Life ain't always what you think it oughta be, no**

**Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby**

**The sharp knife of a short life,**

**Well, I've had just enough time**

It wasn't fair that she was going to be outlived by her mother. Especially since they had finally come to terms with her immortality, the fact that she wasn't the girl she was born as, but she was something stronger and would live on to be the best she could be. Be someone to be proud of, surpassing the girl she had been when she was turned.

**If I die young bury me in satin.**

**Lay me down on a bed of roses**

**Sink me in the river at dawn**

**Send me away with the words of a love song**

Love. That's what she was going to miss the most. She hadn't let herself embrace the love that she had been offered. Who did that? Who threw love back in the face of someone who was opening themselves up to her, letting her in where they hadn't let anyone else? Why hadn't she accepted the love, her own feelings?

**The sharp knife of a short life,**

**Well I've had just enough time**

She knows the answer to that. She didn't think she had to make the decision so soon. She wanted to live the life she had always dreamed of and then seek him out. Let him show her the world he wanted to share with her. It wasn't supposed to be this short. What was the point of everything she and her friends had been through if it ended this soon. They had all died and risen again, fought off things of nightmares and broken each other's hearts the way only teenagers can.

**And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom**

**I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger**

**I've never known the lovin' of a man**

**But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand**

**There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever**

**Who would have thought forever could be severed by**

She hoped that he would forgive her for this. It wasn't something she expected, but she didn't want to spend eternity on the Other Side watching him hate her after all the love she had seen from him while she was alive and reluctant. They had spent so little time together and now she was going to be gone, permanently out of reach. She didn't know that he would forgive her or move past it. He had cursed love for a millennium and only opened himself up to the concept in the last few years; that's not what she wanted for him for the next thousand years. She slid her fingers across the envelope addressed to him. The night before she wrote him a letter, professing her feelings and asking him for forgiveness. Asking him to keep love in his heart and allow someone else to feel all the love he had to offer. She wanted it now, but it would hardly be fair to ask for it now, when she was so close to fading into oblivion.

**The sharp knife of a short life,**

**Well I've had just enough **

The anger she expected to feel was rising now. She didn't want to die. But how was it fair for her to ask for a miracle. For her to ask for help after all the times **_she'd sent him away and denied his feelings as well as her own. He deserved better from her and it was too late to change it now._**

**_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls_**

**_What I never did is done_**

She folds the soft dress gently, laying it at the foot of her bed. Crossing the room slowly, her breath is loud in the quiet house, raking against her throat while she gasps. Standing in front of her dresser she pulls the three strand necklace from her jewelry box, taking it and the infinity bracelet she'd received not so many birthdays ago and laying them both atop the satin. She had taken care of what she could, she tells herself. No one would have to put too much thought into laying her to rest; they'd all done enough of that for a dozen lifetimes. Sitting down, she pulls another sheet of paper across her desk and lowers her pen to it.

**A penny for my thoughts**

**Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar**

**They're worth so much more after I'm a goner**

**And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'**

**Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'**

_Klaus,_ she writes, _you don't need your hybrid cause. I know that you think you do, so that you can have people like you around you for support and love but it's just not so. Look around you, you have people that love you and don't want to lose you to that obsession. When you do, you are telling the people around you that they aren't enough. You're telling Elijah that all he's given up to support you isn't enough. You're telling Rebekah that all of her love and devotion to you for the last eleven hundred years has been for nothing. You are going to have someone, someday, that loves you as much as I do now and you will be blind to it because of that obsession and that's not fair to anyone._

_I'm not expecting you to listen to me. But I hope you will. You deserve so much more than losing yourself for centuries at a time in search of doppelgangers and spells. You should be showing the beauties of the world to someone; all the art and culture people like me are too foolish to seek out. You deserve to live, Klaus. Not run and survive. You deserve to be happy, and you need to let yourself._

**If I die young**

A tear slides down her ruddy cheek while she thinks about the first time she almost died in this room. It seemed like so long ago that her body had first been ravaged with werewolf venom and she had been saved by the immortal hybrid. Not this time. She couldn't drag him into her problems this time. Not that he would make it in time now anyway.

**Bury me in satin**

**Lay me down on a bed of roses**

**Sink me in the river at dawn**

**Send me away with the words of a love song**

The note joins the longer letter in the envelope with his name on it, and she makes to set it on the other papers for her mother to use and distribute when she finds her. The envelope doesn't leave her grip though, as she eyes the sheets stacked before her. The legal papers state her desire to be cremated, ashes dropped from the falls she grew up swimming in. That way she could always remain in a place of happy memories from before the Salvatores and everyone else returned to Mystic Falls and all the death befell the group of teenagers. There were letters for Elena and Bonnie, for Stefan and Enzo. She'd even pulled out the bourbon she kept in the cabinet for Damon, knowing he'd need it. They may not have the best history, but he had grown attached to them with all that had happened. It had been a long few years and the emotions relating to them had filled several pages stuffed into the envelope she clutches in her hands.

**The ballad of a dove**

**Go with peace and love**

Her death was imminent and she hadn't told anyone. The bite had come out of nowhere. They weren't even fighting the wolves; she had just accompanied Stefan and Damon when they went out to the pack's camp to talk boundaries. They had learned over the years that she and Stefan were the most diplomatic, but only one of them could do the talking because the other had to keep Damon and his mouth in check. He had said something antagonistic and a couple of the wolves had rushed them. No one even saw fangs be bared, so it wasn't surprising that no one noticed the blood on her shoulder. _She _probably wouldn't have even noticed except that the guy had taken notice of her when Stefan had said her name. She had seen recognition on his face as he put together 'Caroline' and 'Mystic Falls,' though she's not sure how or why because she didn't know him.

**Gather up your tears**

**Keep 'em in your pocket**

**Save 'em for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh**

They would miss her, she knew. But it wasn't going to end anyone here. Elena, Damon and Stefan had each other. Stefan and Damon also had Enzo. Enzo had the Salvatores and had taken a shine to Rebekah when he had traveled down through Louisiana so he would be alright. Bonnie, Matt and Jeremy were the strongest people she knew. She was only worried for Bonnie because she would have to feel her death and that was just too much to ask. Tyler had Matt, but he was usually off with other packs and that was for the best. He needed as many people with him as he could get to keep his head straight. Everyone in Mystic Falls would be there for each other and for her mother. It was the hybrid in Louisiana that she was worried for. And for anyone that was around when he got word. _Maybe she should call him?_ she thinks, almost desperately, as her vision starts to blur. Her breath is shallow and she can't really move her arms to reach for her phone even if she wants to. She falls heavily to the ground, distantly hearing a car pull into her driveway before her eyes fall closed for the last time.

**The sharp knife of a short life**

**Well I've had just enough **

"Where are you, Gorgeous? I thought we were going to the movies this afternoon?" Enzo's accented voice calls into the too quiet house as he opens the door and follows the petite blonde in front of him into the entryway. Something doesn't feel right, and he's about to call again when Rebekah flashes through the house.

She lets out a gasping cry when she reaches Caroline's bedroom. She's fallen to her knees and pulled the younger blonde onto her back by the time her boyfriend reaches the doorway. The Original is slamming her fists against the baby vampire's chest with all of her might, trying to restart a dead heart. Enzo collapses next to her, swiping sweaty hair from his friend's forehead while they both begin to cry.

"Caroline! No—you don't get to die. You don't get to do this! Not to us. Not to Nik!" Rebekah's broken voice shatters the silence as she cradles her dead friend to her chest. She's crying so hard, her words are barely articulate as she thinks about her brother and this girl that he had loved more than any of them realized. "You don't get to leave us…"

**So put on your best boys**

**And I'll wear my pearls**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **It was requested that I include a Klaus reaction. This is what happened when I sat down to do just that. I hope you find the closure you are looking for in it. I know that it resonated in me—I'm still crying a bit while I write this a/n.

**Disclaimer:** The lyrics aren't mine, the characters aren't either. Anything recognizable in my stories belongs to the brilliant minds that created them, I'm just using them for inspiration.

* * *

><p><strong>If I die young<strong>

Dying sucked. There was no other way to say it. It was painful and messy and everything Caroline had heard about the afterlife for the supernatural made it sound terrible. No peace, just pain as you watch those you love go on with out you. These were the thoughts running through her mind when she appeared in the Salvatore boarding house and came face to face with her best friends. Only one of them could see her though, and it took the brunette a minute to understand if the developing look of horror was any indication.

Bonnie stood up and ran from the room, slamming the door behind her as she stopped in front of the blonde. The tears left wet trails down her cheeks as tried to process what it meant for Caroline to have appeared in front of her, how something like this could have happened. Her voice was thick with pain and tears when she finally tried to speak, "Care? No! No, you're not…How the hell did this happen?"

Caroline cried too, wanting nothing more than to hug her friend but not wanting to hurt her. "I messed up, Bonnie. I think I messed up _bad_." Her blonde head bobbed with her words before her eyes fell. "Those wolves that we went to meet. Damon was smarting off, and one of them was a lot like him, I guess. It was just a tussle. They charged us…I…I didn't even know that I was bit until I got home and even then I wasn't sure." The terrified girl eyed her white knuckles before she forcibly unclenched her hands. "By the time I was sure, it was too late. _I_ was too late to do anything." The broken shrug is the ultimate punctuation for her words.

The anchor was seething. How could this have happened? "How could they have let this happen to you, Caroline? They were there with you, and then they came back here like nothing happened at all," the former witch had never wished to have her powers back to this degree before. She should have been able to save her friend. She should be able to go into the next room and tear Damon apart. "You _can't_ be dead, Care. This doesn't get to happen…"

"I wrote you a letter. I wrote all of you guys letters. When I knew how bad it was. I know it isn't much, definitely not enough, but that way I could say what I needed to to all of you. Can you get them to everyone? I just feel like it's a lot to lay on my mom…" Her words dropped off as Caroline tried to control her tears and breathing. She wanted to be prepared for what was going to happen when she passed on, to make it as painless as possible for both of the girls. "I'm sorry, Bonnie. I know that this hurts you and I'm so sorry. You've gone through so much pain already, I don't want to cause you anymore. Do I have to pass on? Or could I stay here without going through you?" The rambling brought a knowing look to the brunette's face as a sign that her friend was freaking out.

"It only hurts for a second, Caroline. I promise. And I would do it a hundred times to keep you here. You're supposed to stay here with us." Steeling herself against the coming pain, Bonnie closed the distance between herself and her friend. "I love you, Caroline Forbes. So, so much. I'm sorry that we couldn't save you."

"I love you too, Bonnie. I deserved it," she tried to joke. "How many of you guys died without me saving you? Just my turn." Deep breaths from both girls ring out in the room before the lean in for a final hug.

"Gaaahhh!" Bonnie cried out in a pained voice, drawing the three vampires from the next room through the door.

"Bonnie? Are you okay?" Elena was the first one to talk, grabbing her friend's elbow to steady her.

"No. No, I'm not," was all she said before running out of the boarding house. The group followed her to the driveway and silently piled into their cars while the former witch sped to Caroline's house.

Bonnie walked up the steps and into the house knowing that her friends were close behind and that they had no clue what they were walking into. But then she heard Rebekah's cries from inside and assumed they would get the drift.

Caroline gasped as she passed through Bonnie, appearing next in the hall outside of her bedroom. The few deep breaths she sucked in barely prepared her for the sight of her own dead body lying on the floor at the foot of her bed. Rebekah was cradling her grey head in her lap, stroking the blonde curls while Enzo held them both in an awkward hug. Bonnie was crying as she sped through the house to find the macabre scene. Within minutes Stefan had rushed in and collapsed next to his ex fling and was grasping at Caroline's cold hands as tears began to fall down his pale cheeks. Elena could be heard crying in the hall, the sound muffled against Damon's shoulder.

"What happened?" Stefan's voice was unrecognizable it was so full of pain. "She can't be…You can't be dead, Caroline…You just can't…" He trailed off as his sobs shook his body. Time seemed to stand still for everyone in the house before the blonde watched Bonnie cross to her desk and lift the envelopes addressed to the friends. She silently passed them to their recipients and the only sounds in the house were gentle cries and clumsy fingers tearing into the packets.

First, Caroline knelt beside her hero haired friend while he scrubbed a hand across his face to clear his eyes. She watched his brow wrinkle as he began to mouth the words that she wrote. The blonde pressed a weightless hand to his shoulder while she smacked her fingers to her mouth to stifle her own sob.

_Stefan,_

_If you're reading this, then I really screwed up I guess. I didn't want to drag everyone down after we met up with those wolves. We had a reason to celebrate and I didn't need to be a bother—it was just a little nip! But I guess I should have said something. And, before your brow gets all broody—I know. I should have called Klaus. But that is between me and him, and I had to make that decision. _

_But, none of that is why I am writing this. I'm writing this because I am so, so sorry that I am letting you down. As a friend, as a sober coach. I promised you could depend on me, and here we are now. Well, here you are. I guess I'm ashes by now. I'm sorry, Stef. I didn't mean for this to happen. But I need you to do something for me…_

_I need you to take care of them, okay? Elena, she doesn't deal with grief. And Rebekah, we were in a good place, even with all of the Klaus crap. And Enzo and Tyler, we all know that they are more like Damon than you—they do stupid things and then think about them later. So please don't let them kill anyone. Not over something as stupid as this. _

_But mostly, please take care of Bonnie. She loses so many people. And then, to have to feel the deaths. That's not fair. And she will take care of you too, it's what she does. It's what I did, so I know that she will too. _

Caroline moved to stand while he finished her letter, her eyes trailing over the other broken faces in the room. She staggered heavily to the left, drawing Bonnie's attention as a pain shot through her chest.

"What the…?" Caroline stared at Bonnie, confused and scared, before her phone began ringing on the floor beside her veined body. Before she could see the name on the caller ID, she disappeared.

Klaus collapsed onto the bricks of the courtyard, a hand clutched to his chest as pain tore through his shoulder. Minutes or hours later, the hybrid wrenched his eyes open and moved to sit up without a clue what had happened to drop him in the first place. The ache in his chest was throbbing out from his heart and that worried him.

Rising to his feet, the blonde flashed upstairs and into his bathroom. Eyeing himself in the mirror, the centuries old man stripped off his shirt and searched his familiar torso for injury but found none. He walked slowly into his bedroom, sinking heavily onto his soft bed and dropped his head in his hands trying to place the feeling of dread that was settling heavily into his very being.

Unconsciously his gaze flitted to the painting above his fireplace and his brow pulled together. The lightness that he never understood his ability to capture was gone. The likeness of Caroline was unchanged, but there was no longer a glow to the completed work. Without thought, Klaus tore his phone from his pocket and dialed the familiar number in a panic.

"H-Hello?"

"Bekah?"

"N-Nik. Oh my God, Nik—" the words broke on a sob and the panic began to overtake the hybrid.

Caroline appeared in the corner of his room then, unseen by the very alive man before her, but bearing witness to his taut stance. She sobbed heavily while she watched the emotions cross his face.

"Rebekah. Why are you answering Caroline's phone?" Each word came out as a singularly punctuated sentence. The panic seeped into his tone when his sister only sobbed harder on the other end of the line. Muffled sounds came through the microphone, signaling that the phone was now in someone else's hands. "What has happened?" he asked quietly, not knowing who was now on the other end.

"Klaus. It's Caroline. She's…she was bitten yesterday—"

"I'm on my way, Rippah." Klaus had flashed down the stairs before the words crossed the wireless signal.

"It's too late, Klaus. She's gone." The phone crashed to the ground when the hybrid stopped short, his legs giving out heavily.

On the other side of the veil, Caroline raced behind the man she had been too afraid to love and fell to her knees behind him. She watched his head snap up when she began to sob. The hybrid turned to face her, his eyes ripping through the broken girl as he began to fall apart.

Dark settled across New Orleans and Klaus had yet to move. The sun rose again hours later and they hybrid remained in a heap at the bottom of the stairs that led to the entry of his home. Hours or days passed without movement in the empty house. He was unaware of his surroundings until he heard a familiar sniffle and a flash of blonde hair tore across his peripheral vision.

Rebekah sank to the ground beside her brother, laying down next to his inert body and gripping his limp hand between her own. "I am so sorry, Nik." Klaus doesn't say anything, just pulls his sister into his embrace and lets out the first strangled sob since Stefan's words reached his ears. "She was brave, Nik. Like you. Like she has always been, whether people saw it or not. She didn't even tell anyone that she'd been bitten. She wrote these for all of us, I brought you yours." The blonde was worried, still having received no actual response from her brother as she pressed the letter into his grasp.

Caroline was miserable. She couldn't do anything but watch. Dying sucked. Klaus was paralyzed and she couldn't even comfort him, communicate with him. At least Rebekah was there now, he wasn't alone. The dead girl watched as the blonde she considered a friend pulled the blonde she loved from the floor and lugged him up the stairs.

By the time Klaus became aware of his surroundings, he was in his room with no real understanding of how he came to be there. All he was aware of was the delicate honey and vanilla scent that was uniquely Caroline wafting from the envelope between his fingers. As he sat up to open it, he would have sworn to anyone who asked that he felt the familiar weight of someone sitting beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder and surrounding him with the warmth that only the blonde embodied. Shaking his head clear, the hybrid tore the envelope open delicately, not wanting to damage her final words.

_Klaus,_

_I…I don't even know what to say. 'I'm sorry' seems so naïve. 'Forgive me' seems so needy. 'I love you,' too late. They're all true. But they aren't enough. Not now._

_I will start at the beginning of this situation, that seems the best course of action. Yesterday morning, I went out to the woods with Stefan and Damon. We met with members of a wolf pack from Louisiana, an alpha and his right hand, and were setting boundaries with them to avoid dangerous interactions. I guess they know you, or Hayley, because the blonde one seemed to recognize my name. Then, well, I don't need to explain how Damon can be. Some words were said and they rushed us, and the blonde one got a bite in. I didn't even realize it until later that I'd actually been bit._

_And, at that point, I got dumb. I didn't think you'd make it in time. I wasn't sure you would come after I made you promise to stay away. So now I'm paying for it. _

_The venom is spreading faster this time. Is it possible that I have a weakness from being exposed too many times? I don't know why I'm asking you questions, it's not like I will get an answer…_

_I'm sorry. I'm probably rambling—it's getting harder to concentrate. But that's not all I'm sorry for. You know that, right? I hope so. _

_I'm sorry I turned you away, Klaus. I'm sorry I refused you so many times. It seems childish now. I'm sorry that I asked you to stay away. I'm even sorry for our time in the woods—that's not what I meant to happen when I said I would tell you. It's not how it should have happened. Even if it was amazing. And it was—not that your ego needs me to tell you that…_

_I'm sorry that I was too scared to actually say the words. Then, and every time before. And everyday since. All I have wanted for as long as I can remember was to be loved by someone, to be important to someone. And then there you were, giving that to me. But I knew what it meant to you. What it would have meant for you, for me, and for us if I had said it back. That it would have been the end of the chase, all or nothing. I'm sorry that I was so afraid of that. You deserve better._

_God, I want to hear your voice, Klaus. Isn't that twisted? I'm dying and all I want is to call you, the one who could save me. But I waited too long. Which sounds like a __**huge**__ metaphor for our situation. So I'm sorry for that too._

_I love you, Klaus. I should have said that a long time ago. I hope you can forgive me for not saying it. And for dying. Leaving everyone that I love is hard, but at least they know that I love them. Do you know that I love you? I think you probably do—you're so damn sure about everything. But I still should have told you before I died._

_It hurts, Klaus. Dying hurts. And I don't want to die. I'm not ready—not like I was the first time. I had accepted it then, had prepared for it. But I am not ready to go this time. Please…_

_Ugh, this doesn't make sense…I'm sorry. The bite is getting bad. I can't focus like I want to. Maybe I will just call you._

_Yeah—I'll do that now. I'll talk to you soon, Klaus. _

_I love you. More than I know how to say._

_Always yours,_

_Caroline._

The paper crumpled in his fist. She hadn't called. He would have been in Virginia if she had. He would have saved her, or at least held her and loved her until she was gone. She wouldn't have died alone and scared. He could have put her at peace.

Klaus flashed from the room and into his sister's. "How did this happen, Rebekah? How is she just…gone?" The Original sister froze at her brother's words, never having heard his voice so broken in the millennium they had been alive. "Was she alone? Frightened? Suffering? How could this have happened?" The last words were a pained roar as the hybrid fell to his knees in front of the blonde who looks so similar to the one they have just lost. Rebekah remained motionless as his iron arms banded around her torso and his tears wet her shirt.

Caroline watched the siblings comfort each other and wrapped her arms around herself, grieving alone for the life she lost and unable to understand how she was supposed to spent eternity watching this.

**Send me away with the words of a love song**


End file.
